I'm currently sitting in IAH Terminal D (which sucks, by the way), eating a salad and drinking some wine. And it just hit me - it's here! Less than 40 minutes 'til I board my Lufthansa flight to Frankfurt. HOLY SHIT.
I've really felt like this day would never come. Even earlier this morning, time was moving at a snail's pace. Saturday morning cartoons (naturally, I was too excited to sleep), yoga, Guadalupana brunch (I'll miss Mexican food), shower....it all seemed to take forever. And it was hard as hell to keep my mind focused on what I was doing/where I was. I think I've had a big, stupid grin on my face for at least the last 10 hours. My face hurts.
I've been thinking about how my excitement has started to mask the fear, even make me think it's not there. But right now, it is. Butterflies in my stomach (they like wine). But I'm not worried.
I heard two things this week in yoga that clicked for me: (1) "We already know the ending - we die", and (2) "play full out". (Sorry if that first one is morbid, but it's true. And thank you, Nancy. I hadn't taken your class in months and you said both of these (or something along those lines) this week). They clicked because I realized that the first one is true so why not live life to its fullest and "play full out"?! And the second one made me realize that my fear around this trip (and everything else) has been preventing me from doing just that - I've been playing it safe instead of taking risks and having fun! (Side note for my mother - this does not mean that I will be stupid and do stupid things or not pay attention to my surroundings. Calm down).
The fact that these things have clicked for me in the past week, before I had even left on this adventure, make me even more ecstatic for what's to come over the next 5 weeks. I'm going to play full out and have an adventure, experience new cultures, eat ALL THE FOOD, and maybe get on my return flight at the end of March. I'm ready.